Over the years the Mockroscope has offered insight and entertainment, but mostly bullshit. This month the Mockroscope is asking readers to give back by describing these unrecognised and unnamed life events.

Come up with a noun to describe second hand toilet seat warmth.

Name the colour for when you mix all the Play-Doh together.

Come up with a verb to describe Brad Pitt’s constant snacking in Ocean’s 11.

Name the car horn beep that prompts you to move at a green light.

If pink is light red, come up with a better name for light blue.

Name the kiss a dog gives you after has just licked its own ass.

Come up with an adverb to describe a snort laugh.

What can we call the designed holes in jeans?

Name the shiver of relief for when you think a spider has been walking on you.

What’s the verb for when your socks slide into your shoe?

Name the post-coitus tissue you use to wipe up.

What’s the verb for rotating your indoor plants towards the sun?

Lazy Eye is featured in The Cud every month. Follow him on instagram HERE