Taurus – Try not to spread bad habits. This month make sure your fly is done up when you’re in public.

Gemini – Boredom can be lead to the devil's work. Next time you see Beelzebub coming down the avenue of indolence go to the waiting room of a doctor’s surgery and try to figure out what diseases people have.

Cancer – The Industrial Revolution inspired Marx and Engels to write the Communist Manifesto. What modern social issue will inspire this generation’s literary classic, the lack of emoji’s?

Leo – Being able to sell yourself is difficult, you need a very high emotional IQ. Don't be ashamed the next time you have a one-night stand. People who are haters and can't pick up as easy as you are shit salesmen with poor emotional IQ! (aka virgins) 

Virgo – What ever happened to Joseph Kony? This month scan Google Maps and see if he has been accidently photographed. Also while you’re there, look for Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman, flight MH 370 and the 300 missing Nigerian girls.

Libra – If you’re planning on starting a family and thinking of names, take Ashley Madison off the list. Integrity should be the first step a child gets to take in life.

Scorpio – What’s the reality of reality TV?

Sagittarius – Art helps society define its identity. Think about Beetlejuice, Death Becomes Her, and Ghostbusters. They just don’t make ghost comedies like they used to, no? This month, show some sprit and write a script for this dying genre. If you don’t it’ll haunt you forever.

Capricorn – Think about the environment more this month. The next time you write a crap Tweet or post bullshit on Facebook, spare a thought for the fossil fuel being spent to produce the electricity you’re using. Hold onto this thought: every time you post shit on the internet, you may well be killing a tree.

Aquarius – Stop worrying about your lack of travel, being present is the most important place to be.

Pisces – Onomatopoeia is a word matching a sound or action, like ZAP or BUZZ. What sound or action would your name conjure?

Aries – Animal husbandry is the care and management of animals for profit. This month, figure out what 'animal wifery' is...