Aquarius – Going home after a passionate night of making love to a stranger shouldn’t be called "the walk of shame,” it should be called "the stride of pride." When did you last stride it out?

Pisces – Never take a selfie at a busy public urinal!

Aries – This month stop your search for the fountain of youth. All you need to do is bring back certain vocabulary from your primary school days. Start using 'jinx', no returns', or 'dobbed-on'. It’ll make you feel young again.

Taurus – There are two types of people in the world, those that believe there are two types of people and those that don’t. This month figure out which you are?  

Gemini – Your body is a temple, when was the last time you had $1 pizza slices at a temple? 

Cancer – It’s amazing how quickly sporting teams can have a t-shirt made up with the word 'CHAMPIONS' printed on it. This month, create a business which finds and sells the losing teams 'CHAMPIONS' tees. It's a way to make some money while also engaging in some good ol' shits and giggles...

Leo – Pull your finger out this month! Success only comes before work in the dictionary.

Virgo – Apartheid South Africa has forgotten its manners. This month write a letter to Apartheid South Africa demanding they say thank you to the White Australia policy for giving them the idea. Stop doing what Apartheid South Africa has done and never forget your manners!

Libra – Peeling the layers of skin off an onion will eventually make you cry. How many layers of your skin would need to be peeled off before an onion cries?

Scorpio – This month write a 'Get Well Soon' card for places in the world that’ are going through a tough time.

Sagittarius – If civil disobedience is the wooden gun of society, is corporate boycotting the spud gun? Consider this when you next go to the mall.

Capricorn – Relationships are important for you this month. Live without your mobile phone for the weekend. It’ll increase your attention span and conversation skills.