In the coming weeks two different countries that sit side by side will be going to the ballot box. And, as Canadians and Americans go to the polls, once again many of us will scratch our heads and wonder just what to do. Party polices change and, unfortunately, so do people. Oftentimes the person we thought was going to do it all for us ended up becoming a totally different person once in office, and the party that had those great policies we believed in seemed to change tact overnight while people were sleeping.

Several things are at work here but let's start with the ideal. In a perfect world we would all come together and make perfect rules that would be followed perfectly, and any one of us perfect people could be elected leader. Rules would come from the heart and be the best for our lives. Disciplinary action against any of us would be followed and respected without contention or argument because there would be no possible injustice. The laws we had all voted on would rule year after year after year - in a perfect, ideal world.

At the other end of the pendulum is a very fluid world. There are no absolutes- life changes, people change, circumstances change and the most important thing often seems to be that we have a leader who is bold and inspirational, able to understand all of the nuances of life and hopefully good-looking and pleasing on the eye.

Can we generalize and say that conservatives are more for the party and liberals for the person? Or that most women are more for the person and men more for the party? Perhaps so, but there are also times when everyone votes differently than what they normally do.

The most important thing in all of this is to realize that we are humans and not houses in the process of being built. A house is best built using a set of tried and tested rules. Too many houses have fallen down using flimsy materials so we discard them and use other materials that are stronger and we do this house after house after house. In fact, we have housing codes that are followed without too much argument or contention. I work on a construction site and know that this is not as smooth a process as it appears but for the most part there is no argument.

Humans are different. They change from year to year or rather from moment to moment. They are made up of body, soul and spirit and many other things. One year or moment, sun beds are great for them. The next year or moment, sun beds cause cancer and should be banned or limited. One year or moment breast-milk is deemed best, and the next year we are told that something better may be on the market. We fluctuate in our professional opinions concerning alcohol, sex, marriage, education, gas/diesel/oil, 8-hour-days/10-hour-days, retirement, vitamins, discipline of children and on and on and on. We want the flexibility to change position on all of these areas and to be able to think them through. We don't want to just do what our mothers and fathers told us. So in politics we tend toward a leader who will understand and bring us together to discuss these things and to get a consensus or to bring us together again for more discussion and debate.

As I grow older I like the stability of rules and regulations that I think are timeless and want a party that honors those rules no matter how un-charismatic, un-photogenic and un-polished-in-speech the leader turns out to be. But there are some things that could use discussion like, for instance, the environment.

So what is a person supposed to do?

First off, just taking the time to vote is great. Second, researching the candidates is critical. Third, we have to be willing to take risks and be hurt. And fourth, we have to stay involved.

Letters, opinions and maybe even prayers should follow our candidate to government. It takes time and energy to be democratic. It takes humans to be democratic. Houses don't talk back but humans are special. We can't be put in boxes. So let's live outside the box permanently instead of just popping out once every four years.

And all this starts right now with you and me.