There's a funny thing about Ebay

By Ee Pin Pang

Ebay can be considered by many as a shopping Mecca' an online community for traders to showcase their wares to customers to browse through.

Set up in 1995, Ebay is an internet service that functions as an online shopping mall and auction house at the same time. A haven for those who seek to find the rarest of treasures for (hopefully), a fraction of their original prices. Everyday, millions of people surf through this virtual marketplace in search for that special bargain and this throng of regulars is ever increasing.

And the things people do sell ' and subsequently buy! Pots, pans, clothes and jewelry are just the tip of the iceberg. We have budding merchants selling roadsters, executive apartments and even packaged money no less! However, my personal favourites would be the various 'unique' odds and ends that one can find littered all over this bazaar. Among these oddities for sale include football clubs, wills and haunted rubber duckies. Anything and everything is purchasable online. And when the implications of that statement hits, we can see the emerging problems. Here are some of the more 'unusual' merchandises available:

1) Virtual Girlfriends

In 2002, a new trend emerged, offering kind services to 'socially'challenged' individuals who seek to impress their peers and families. The Virtual Girlfriends were women (usually college students) who placed themselves on Ebay, appealing to partner'less persons to buy their services. Once bought, these 'girlfriends' would provide a package, which included writing letters of love and devotion to their new'found 'boyfriends', giving them their photographs and even a pair of panties or two. Of course, there is no actual physical intimacy; the services rendered seek instead to impress any pesky relatives who might doubt the customer's skill with the ladies.

2) The Haunted (Insert object here)

Now don't be shy, who hasn't been intrigued and freaked out by tales of the supernatural. Thoughts of ghosts and superstitions govern many parts of our lives, movies and books seek to scare us over and over again, and we even have a holiday celebrating such events in splendid creepiness. And now, the supernatural grips Ebay customers in the embodiment of possessed objects. And while the common trend is to have a haunted piece of furniture on display, a doll being sold on Ebay has been causing much news recently. An apparently possessed Stitch soft toy from Disney's Lilo and Stitch seems to be making its owners' lives a living hell and they are trying to get rid of it. The full account can be found here. And while the story is interesting, I was more receptive to the US$11,100 price tag it finally sold for. That must be one of the most profitable dolls Disney has ever made for commercial use. A smart hoax or a true tale of horrific proportions? You decide.

3) Religion on toast

Yes, even religion has not been spared in the Ebay euphoria. This is especially so in the recent miracle images that have been floating around the net. Imagine the picture of Jesus' face. Got it? Now imagine this Messiah's face imprinted' on a piece of burnt toast. The person who owns this sacred dough now wants to share this miracle with the world, or at least with the top bidder, by selling it on good old reliable Ebay. Hard to believe? Another entrepreneur is attempting to sell an Easter egg with the Son of God's face on it. His starting price is US$150. You have to wonder if he'll succeed or not. However, there is another depiction of Jesus' visage that takes the cake. Starting at US$250,000, one person is attempting to sell a meteorite in the shape of Jesus' face. He calls it a miracle meteorite and hopes the Vatican Museum will buy. Sure they will'

4) All that Mystery

This is another recent trend that people have come up with, though how they even think up these schemes is currently beyond me. This time, it involves the selling of mysterious objects that we know nothing about. It could be anything: a box with a cryptic item of certain value inside, or a key that opens' well, nobody knows. It is a tried and tested formula, mystery and intrigue always pipes the interest of consumers and there will be results. For proof of such results, bidding for one such mystery box is currently up to US$112 and a key is going for US$99. It is not that we are fools who fall for such easy scams; rather it is just human nature to be curious and to pay for such curiosity.

5) Forehead Advertising

There are people selling themselves now, or a part of themselves to be exact. A milder, more absurd form of organ marketing, human beings offer their foreheads to companies as a crude yet innovative billboard. Whoever thought of this ingenious form of mass marketing must have been a sales guru ' or an impoverished individual desperately seeking attention. The whole idea works around the theory of brand power. The more you see it, the more it is recognized. The main ingredient is a person's forehead, which is auctioned on Ebay to the highest bidder. Winners of these auctions get to literally stamp their company names or logos on the seller's forehead for a certain period of time, thus guaranteeing themselves some form of exposure. Who knows, these forehead banners may attract enough attention and gossip to become the talk of the town. How's that for recognition?

These are just some of the fascinating 'products and services' available on Ebay. What is more interesting here are not the unique objects up for sale, but the fact that there are people actually purchasing them. As they say, there must be some form of demand before there is supply. People have to be willing to pay for such eccentricities to appear.

Anonymity can perhaps be the main reason for this bizarre phenomenon. People on the internet are protected by obscure profiles and physical geographical distance. Face'to'face meetings are rare and without this threat of anybody ever finding out another's identity, well' you can imagine the results. We can do what we like and post what we like without qualms and bend the rules of normal firsthand human interaction freely.

The Ebay system is also an ideal space for us to browse through. With that much freedom in simply looking, curiosity becomes an overpowering emotion that compels us to just' click. One thing leads to another and suddenly you can find yourself bidding as well. A simple marketing strategy, but an effective one nonetheless.

Or perhaps it is simply a person's inherent nature to be swayed by trends, weird or not. Like fashion, food or even the internet, we fall into a common stream dictated by unknown worldly forces. Whatever the case, as long as we keep bidding, these fun'filled and incredible items will keep coming. But hey, it may not be all that a bad thing. Who knows, you too may be in need of a mystery box one day.

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