Your Mockroscopes For June:

Gemini – This month celebrate feminism. The Brooklyn Museum is honouring Miss Piggy’s contributions to feminism. If you can’t make it to Brooklyn just hashtag #Misspiggyfeminist.

Cancer – I know the pressure of trying to break up with your personal trainer or hairdresser is tough. To make things easier, why not make them a mixtape? Here are a few suggestions to get you started; “Somebody I Used To Know” by Gotye, “Teardrops” by Womack & Womack, “Torn” by Natalie Imbruglia, “Always On My Mind” by Willie Nelson, “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now” by the Smiths. Let me know how you go...

Leo – Your organisational skills are a very sought after commodity. Why not try and get a job a FIFA? They need all the help they can get at the moment.

Virgo – Networking is an underutilised skill. This month, get a haircut every week. Talking to hairdressers is a great way to work on creating small talk.

Libra - Global citizenship is a growing trend. What better way to be a global citizen than to bring back a 90’s hip hop sign off, “Peace” (while making the peace salute)?

Scorpio – Think about this. Mental health is on a continuum.

Sagittarius – You’re so forgetful that you can’t remember if you’ve bought memory foam pillows. Start writing on your hand as a diary.

Capricorn – Finances are always at the back of your mind. Before you start that motorbike sidecar business ask yourself, “Do I really have the technically skills to build sidecars?”

Aquarius – You need to focus on your health this month. Introduce offal into your diet. Organ meat is much more nutritious than other forms of meat. This way you’re helping your heart by eating heart.

Pisces – Seeing as your sign is a fish, focus your efforts this month on raising awareness about shark fin soup. Sharks clean the ocean and can’t do their job if they don’t have fins.

Aries – Good whiskey should never have ice in it. Start a petition at your local bar banning people ordering scotch on the rocks.

Taurus – I know you love travel but really hate the jet lag. Instead, read Hemingway’s ‘Death In The Afternoon”. It's about the things people get up to in Spain.