Recently I was at a bar in the Chinese city where I live. I'm friendly with the boss and it wasn't surprising when he asked me and my foreign companion to come and join him and his friends.

Usually when he does this it is to introduce us to other foreigners, or English'speaking locals, but this time was a little different. As soon as I saw the 60 kuai cigarettes on the table, I knew these weren't the average 'friends'. My friend whispered to me, ...I bet they're government officials.... I thought it possible but suggested they looked more like mafia to me. I knew the boss was somewhat 'connected'. He often mentioned what he calls his 'hooligan' friends, and to run a successful bar in this city being connected is a must.

Cigarettes were handed around and welcoming toasts drunk as the formalities of Chinese introductions were completed. Pulling me aside the boss confirmed what I had suspected. We were sitting with mafia guys, not you're run'of'the'mill hoods, but four mafia bosses who each controlled a section of the city. Although I was slightly nervous, I definitely felt a thrill at being part of a 'sit-down'. They were there to discuss a problem that one was having with a family member. The boss of the bar was translating everything for us so we were a part of the conversation. He had mentioned the problem before to me, but I didn't know exactly who was involved. He just spoke of an issue his 'brother' was having. In China the term 'brother' or 'sister' often means close friend.
This 'brother's' issue was with his brother-in-law, let's call him Wang. Wang was married with a family, but was having an affair with another woman. This is not rare in China, certainly not for anyone with money or power. In fact, it's almost expected. The problem was that everyone was convinced that this woman was a chicken, which is a Chinese term for a hooker, except of course Wang. This was considered shameful for Wang's family, and the woman had done herself no favours by calling Wang's house and insulting members of his family. Her biggest mistake was when she abused Wang's sister who happened to be married to a well connected man, the same guy who was sitting two seats away from me at the table. His solution to the problem was simple: have her killed.

Others suggested to let nature take its course. Given time, Wang would eventually come to his senses, realise she was a chicken, and the problem would solve itself. But given Wang's obvious infatuation with the woman, this could take some time.

After several beers, I felt bold enough to offer my own solution. I thought the problem was two-fold: first we had to prove that the woman was really a chicken, and then we had to work out what to do if she was. My idea was this: they could arrange for someone to attempt to seduce the woman using charm and a lot of cash. If she really was a chicken the promise of a quick, anonymous pay'off would be too good to refuse. The seducer could then deliver proof to someone in the family, who would pass it on to Wang. Wang would then come to his senses and end the affair, solving both aspects of the problem without anyone needing to be 'taken care of'.

I was surprised that everyone at the table agreed that this was a fairly good solution, but I never expected what happened next. The boss of the bar suggested that I would be perfect for the role of seducer. I would be a handsome foreigner who could pretend to be a wealthy investor in town for a short'time on business. Before I could protest they had started making preparations. They would prepare everything for me: a suite at the Shangri La, plenty of cash to spend on her, and a large cash pay'off if the mission was successful. All I needed to do was get her into the room, snap a couple of photos and get out of there. Could I do this? The look on the faces around the table told me that I didn't have much of a choice.

The surprising conclusion of Ray Lee's underworld adventure continues in the next issue of The Cud.