Your Mockroscope For The Month

Lazy Eye


Aquarius – This month, make a conscious effort to moderate your thinking. Remember, right-wing thinking comes from the left hemisphere of your brain.

Pisces – How intelligent is your local shopping centre? This month make a tally of all the bookstores in your local shopping centre, then ask yourself 'is it time to move somewhere smarter?'

Aries – Starting conversations every day is hard and draining. This month, wear t-shirts with provocative quotes. They'll help say more without having to say anything.

Taurus – A bazaar is a strange place to purchase goods. Where are you shopping?

Gemini – Honesty is an important virtue and a virtue worth your attention. This month smile with your eyes, they’re the most honest thing about you!

Cancer – Self-awareness starts with a simple question, "Am I the attention grabbing blonde or the captivating brunette?"

Leo – An effectively quick way to delve into the deeper layers of a one’s personality is by looking at how they wear their fingernails. Pay more attention to this in the coming months, it’ll help you scratch the surface of someone’s character.

Virgo – If your entourage is getting way too big, use the following method to find out who your real friends are: next time you go out, wear a chicken suit and see which friend buys you a drink.

Libra – Been thinking of elective surgery to shed a few pounds? If so, liposuction is a great way to trim the fat.

Scorpio – If your life seems to be in a mundane turnstile of interactions, get out of the funk mixing it up with the use of Jazz Language. Use words like 'Cat', 'Daddy-O', 'Dig', or just click your fingers moving forward instead of clapping to music. These new traits will definitely 'jazz up' your life.

Sagittarius – If you had to suffer a disease for one entire year which one would it be and why?

Capricorn – Fairy tale characters have taught us many oft-unnoticed valuable lessons. If you’re having financial problems, remember the Tooth Fairy is the richest of all fairy tale characters. This month, concentrate your efforts on finding her business plan -or better still, find out her business mentor and employ their services.