Your Mockroscope For The Month

Lazy Eye

 

Libra – You need inspiration this month. Buy an I ❤ NY mug. Then read about how this slogan became one of the most recognised advertisements in the world.

Scorpio – Should salt be taken with a pinch of salt?

Sagittarius – The next time you decide not to exercise because it’s raining, remember a little water never hurt anyone, although a lot of water can hurt. Tsunamis, floods, rips- these all very dangerous forms of water.

Capricorn – Light pollution is a real thing, with most light pollution occurring in big cities. This month spare a thought for the disadvantaged people living in New York, Tokyo, London and Seoul. There are no stars in their sky.

Aquarius – The world is running low on bees. Encourage gardeners in your area to use more natural, bee-friendly pesticides. If this isn’t an option, why not see if your office would place a bee hive on the roof?

Pisces – Is Facebook becoming too intrusive? This month, start an alternate electronic social sharing platform called, “Less in your face, book.” The only substantial difference is that it will require you to your friends individually.

Aries – Africa is the only continent not to host a Formula 1 race. This month, help organise a Live Aid concert so Africa can host a F1 race. #Allwearesayingisgivespeedachance.

Taurus – Being too cautions is disrespectful. There’s dignity in allowing risk. This month, figure out what’s more dignified: allowing a baby to play with a handful of fishing hooks, or voting Donald Trump in as the president of the United States?

Gemini – Why do we say “Sons and Daughters” when alphabetically D is before S? This month read some Bell Hooks. She spoke about the conformity of language.

Cancer – In Back to the Future, the DeLorean had to reach 88 miles for the flux capacitor to produce time travel. All you need for time travel is to visit Melbourne, Australia. Recently in Melbourne the Australian Border Force planned to stop people randomly to check their “visa status,” just like the ghettos of WWII and Apartheid South Africa. Good times!

Leo – Elevating your social status needs to be your only focus this month. Try and add a little bit of hip hop into your vocabulary. Next time you hear something you like, respond with, “Hear the drummer get wicked!” 

Virgo – Romance is in your stars this month. Court the apple of your eye by teaching them how to high-five. The secret to landing a high-five is looking at the other persons elbow. Teaching your suitor this will definitely end in romance, or at the very least it’ll allow you to touch them (appropriately).

 

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